This is not sad. I thought it would be. But it really makes my heart smile instead.
My Uncle Bob was a delight to me. As a kid, I couldn’t wait to see him. He was always smiling when you saw him, like he knew an inside joke and was still giggling about it. He called me Hot Dog. 
I was 7 years old when I was crazy about hot dogs for lunch. “You eat too many hot dogs,” he said, “you’re going to turn into one! ” Laughing, he went on, “I’ll have to call you Hot Dog!” And so he did. Always. I would see him. He’d give me a hug and ask, “How’s my hot dog doing?” I would be delighted to tell him anything. A report of some sort, because he’d listen to me before he went to hang out with the adults to do their thing. He had that thing that made him the coolest of Uncles — an inside joke that made you feel special. As nerdy and awkward as I was as a kid, he had the ability to make a kid smile and feel like they were definitely special because Uncle Bob took the time to listen to them. 
A lot of years later, I went off to school and his family moved to Texas. I didn’t get to see him much. I would get reports after my Mom visited. I had a conference near them a few years ago, and I took a couple extra days off to visit. I was worried for his health, and I missed my Aunt and my cousins. So I spent some time visiting. Just quiet. A couple quiet days to sit and be with them. Share some meals. My favorite day of that visit I spent about the whole afternoon and evening sitting in their living room. No one saying much. Watching TV some. My Aunt and I either crocheting or reading magazines. It was peaceful and pleasant and I was content to just sit with these two people I love so much. I knew I lived far, and I wanted to have this uninterrupted time to just be there. If he felt he had something to say, I wanted to be there to listen like he’d done for me. To laugh at his jokes if he made one. To listen to his soft voice ask this or that about a television show. To share recipes Aunt B. & I found in the magazines. To show her what I was making. Ask her questions because she is the Queen of Craft, for sure.
It was a few years after that visit when he passed away. My UB gone, I was nervous about going to visit just recently. What would it be like without him? As it happens, he is felt everywhere. My tears before Thanksgiving were wasted– “But he won’t be here,” I cried to Kathy, “Everyone will come over, but not him!” She reminded me she promised we would go see him. But I need not have worried he wouldn’t be there. He represents in the smiles and hugs of family. He’s the energy around my Aunt. He is the up-to-something smile of my cousin. 
We visited UB before we left town. His space honored with a holiday wreath. Tidied up a bit to feel useful. Said good-bye and thanked him for always treating me like I was important. Then my phone rang. Yeah, at the cemetery. I imagine him laughing and saying, “you couldn’t turn that thing off here?” I forgot. Anyway, I was waiting to hear about a time for a doctor appointment, so…. I figure he’d just shake his head and laugh, “you kids!” So, I smiled and sent an I love you to heaven and made my way back to the car. Until we meet again, UB, your hot dog still thinks you’re cool beans!