Tonight is 1 week since Kathy entered Hospice care. Her journey has been faster than anyone could have imagined or wanted. Before an update on Kathy, I’m going to update on the outpouring of love we have both received from near and far.

I went to the mailbox yesterday. Yes, it’s an event to go because it’s about a block away and there’s been some rain. It had been 2-3 days. After opening all the mail and holding the stack of cards and notes (outside of their envelopes, I might add), not only was it 2-3 days, but it was about 2-3 inches filled with words and images that demonstrate how deeply loved and admired Kathy is by so many people. That’s just the paper. There have been as many messages by email, text, and on social media. Each provides immense comfort as we navigate this unexpected journey. Your messages are being read, but I confess I’m not able to reply to them all. Please know each is cherished.

It’s been a busy week. Just when I think a routine is being established, we encounter something new. To know me is to know I’m a planner; an organizer. This journey is a lesson for me in many ways: I am learning to delegate, to accept help, to not be the doer of ‘all the things,’ and to be okay not knowing what the next step will be. To be clear, I am not okay not knowing the next steps, but I’m trying to learn this. Somewhere in here is a lesson for mindfulness and being present. I am also still learning these things, I believe that is why we call it “practicing” mindfulness. I need practice.

The first part of this week we squeezed in as many social calls as possible. When we talked about quality of life and what they meant, Kathy told me she wanted to sit and visit with friends and family, to have laughter, and, if possible, to enjoy our patio and look at the foothills while enjoying fresh air. We have done our best by welcoming a number of friends and family before her ability to enjoy those visits diminished.

With so many offers of help, we suggested food delivery coupons to help make meals happen with limited clean-up and preparation as well as the opportunity to cater to specific cravings Kathy might have. In this, you have excelled. We are overwhelmed by the outpouring, it has been a tremendous gift to keep us nourished and cared for while saving us time and another item on the To Do List.

Kathy is not taking meals anymore. She had a ginger cookie on Sunday (Thanks, P.), but has since opted out of offered food. Similarly, she isn’t taking much hydration. Since Monday evening, she’s been in bed full time and, with that, won’t be seeing many visitors beyond her immediate family and caregivers. I realize I’m writing about her on a blog (with her permission, mind you), but she’s always been rather private when it comes to being seen as indisposed in some way. I suppose she’s okay with these updates because she knew she wouldn’t read them. Still, she would not abide a lot of visitors while in a vulnerable state.

What’s next?

We don’t know. Some things cannot be predicted. The plan is to continue to surround Kathy with love and care.

How can you help?

This is one of those situations where we think thoughts and prayers are helpful. When I say “pray,” I mean however and whatever you do that feels like that to you. Please, pray for her peace, pray for her courage in this journey, pray for a pain-free transition, and pray that she knows she is surrounded by love.

No, Really, What Can I DO?

Help prevent this experience for others. Learn more. Donate to researchers looking for solutions. Help us out by joining Team KathyPlan.